Good Christian Bitches

No, it’s not a title for an upcoming reality show. It’s a new series on ABC . 

 

Unsurprisingly, the media has had very little to say about the title of the show. Realistically, if ABC wants to market misogynistic bigoted stereotypes, they should really aim for more of a universal and copious approach. They could do a whole series of spin-offs, like: "Good Islamic Bitches". (Ooohhhh. Did she really write that??) I did. Too much? Too bad. There are Jewish women to remember, as well as Hindus, Buddhists, Agnostics and Atheists. Mormons and Latter-Day Saints shouldn't be ignored, either.

This is not a political post. This is not a thing about partisanship, left vs. right, or anything related to the side of the aisle upon which you vote. This is a human thing, and (more specifically), a woman thing. 

Rush Limbaugh called Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke a slut. Bad noun, Rush. Bad. Granted, Fluke wants her university to pay for a 'friend's' birth control. Odd request, especially to a Catholic university. But whatever...this is America, and absurdity is the norm. 

Limbaugh calling her a 'slut' was definitely not cool. Yes, he is inflammatory. His uber-conservatism is polarizing, and some of his comments are begging for a giant smack upside the head sensitivity training. But here's my question to you: Where is the media when the not-as-trendy conservative Christian women are bashed? 

Where were they when Bill Maher called Sarah Palin a C*nt? Or when he joked about Rick Santorum's wife using a vibrator?

 

Where were they when Joy Behar called Congresswoman Angle a bitch? 

When Olbermann called Michele Malkin a “big mashed-up piece of meat with lipstick on it”?

When Chris Matthews called Hillary Clinton a “she devil”? (I like Hillary. Matthews really ticked me off with that one.)

When Ed Schultz called Sarah Palin a “bimbo” and Laura Ingraham a “right-wing slut”?

And where is the media with Good Christian Bitches? Are Christian conservative women not worthy  of being respected in the same way liberal, non-Christian women are? Are Christian women a lesser species? It seems they are, in the eyes of the media.

I wonder how many people will read this post and believe my husband is an immigrant, my kids are minorities, and some of my dearest friends are liberal gay men and Somalian Muslim women? 

No. Impossible. I'm a good Christian bitch, right?

Contact ABC and its sponsors today to let them know how you feel about this show.

The Kardashian Barbie

Recently, I've been subject to some very late nights (not the good kind, I assure you), a houseful of sick people and a couple of very selfish cats. In light of all things half completed, I've plagiarized my alterblogger-ego. I think I would have anyway; sick kids or not. This topic is pretty eye-opening. Enjoy (and please, share it forward!): 

The Kardashian Barbie Doll

I'm a recovering Barbie-addict. I played with them until I was like 16, and I still would if I didn't have all boys. I'm a little burnt out on trucks, pirates and Spiderman, so anytime we're at someone's house and they have little girls, I'll immediately wonder if they have Barbies. I even have a method:

• I'll make eye contact with the girl. Whether she's across the room or simply in the seat next to me, eye contact will be made. 
• I'll smile sweetly and gesture for her to come closer. 
• Once she's within my reach, I'll pull her closer and ask--without moving my lips, mind you, in case there's a mean older sister not minding her own business--if she has any Barbies. 

(Huh. I've never actually written it out before; it kind of reads like someone trying to score crack.)

That said, I have to say the prospect of a Kardashian Barbie Doll creeps me out. I don't care if it's the only doll in a sea of excavators and superheros, I won't touch it with a ten-foot pink brush. Sure, Barbie is no stranger to controversy. The Dallas Cowboys Barbie caught a lot of flack:

 
(But comparing a professional cheerleader to a sex tape goddess isn't even a logical argument.)

"Cher in Bob Mackie Barbie"


(Let's be honest: Bob Mackie gets away with stripper garb because he's Bob Mackie)

"Jazz Barbie"

(I've been to a jazz show on Broadway. Yes, they dress like this. And yes, like Barbie, they look like strippers.)

"Tramp Stamp Totally Tattoos Barbie"

(Much to my husband's dismay, I like tattoos. I even have a few. But there's no way I'd get near a Slag Tag.)

Regardless of how many poor choices the marketing team at Mattel has made, short of a "Playboy Barbie" line coming out, nothing tops the poor message that a Kardashian doll sends. Can you imagine the conversation?

Little Girl: "Mommy, who is Kim Kardashian?"
Mom: "Well, she and her sisters are on TV."
Girl: "Why?"
Mom, chewing lip uncomfortably: "Well, because they're famous."
Girl: "Are they singers?"
Mom: "No."
Girl: "Do they play sports?"
Mom: "Uh, nope."
Girl: "Do they dance?"
Mom: "Technically yes, but not in the way you're thinking."
Girl: "Well, why are they famous?"
Mom points across the street: "Look!  A firetruck!" 

Indeed, Kim's sex tape and the need to carry $10,000 handbags brought them much fame and wealth, but it's not the best message to send young, impressionable girls. Point is, do not buy the Kardashian doll.Send a message to Mattel. Or call them at             1-800-524-8697      . Let them know they can do better than this.


      

 I mean, come on. Her as a Barbie??? 

 

My Debate with Media Lawyer: Who Won?

In case you missed last week's post covering the suit before the Supreme Court, I discussed it on my local news with a media lawyer. His argument was flimsy, at best, citing some nonsense about networks having no idea what 'indecent' material could be viewed as. We did agree on one point, however: The free market will make sure any over-the-top content aired on broadcast television is not aired. Advertisers don't want to be associated with what the mass public views as offensive, and if consumers aren't happy, no one wins. Let's be clear about one thing: This lawsuit isn't about freedom of expression. It's about money.


 

What say you? Do the federally-funded public airwaves demand the same attention and accountability as any other commodity we invest in? Should advertisers and networks be held to a higher standard than paid cable?

Fox's 'Allen Gregory'

Fox has not had a glowing reputation with its programming slotted during the Family Hour. From Glee to Family Guy to American Dad, the blatant lack of regard for families across this country is clear. I thought the scripting of pedophilia (Family Guy), bestiality (Family Guy), mocking of the disabled (Family Guy), sibling sexual fantasies (American Dad), and bondage (American Dad), had reached the height of indecency on broadcast TV. 

Until now. 

I'm convinced Fox's human resources department is holding job fairs at halfway houses for child molesters. Allen Gregory (Sundays, 8:30 p.m. ET) is a show that slithers to new a new gutter of sludge. My beef isn't with the writing, if I can call it that. My beef is with Fox airing this crap at 8:30 PM, during the massively-ignored 'Family Hour'. The show’s title character is actually a 7-year old child in second-grade, who has sexual fantasies of his elderly principal.

Seven.Years. Old.




Upon being sent to the Principal's office for drinking wine at lunch, Allen is shown having a series of sexual fantasies about her, which include ogling her hairy (blech) cleavage and rubbing her down with suntan oil as she lay topless. And predictably, Allen and his teacher head to a hotel room where it’s clear they’ll be having sex:

Allen: “Let me ask you something. Is it just like a complete mess down there?”

Principal: “I'm gonna level with you. It's like post-Katrina.”

Allen: “Damn it, you're perfect.”

Allen Gregory reclines on the bed. The lights go out. Principal starts moaning his name: “Allen Gregory, Allen Gregory...”

I understand that there are people across this world with freakishly strange senses of humor who enjoy seeing a second grader having sex with his teacher. But they need to enjoy their twisted fantasies on someone else's dime. Allen Gregory is aired on public broadcast television, which means YOUR tax dollars pay for this. Contact your local Fox station and tell then you don’t want this airing.

The advertisers who link their brand with Allen Gregory : 

Boost Mobile

Microsoft Windows 7 PC

Trident Layers

Nikon Cameras: Corporate Contact

Toyota Camry

Metro PCS unlimited plan (Call Sprint)

Volkswagen CC

I've included links to the customer service for each company. Make sure to let them know that in this down-turned economy, your hard-earned dollars shouldn't be funding this type of crap on television. 

Apple iNsanity

The iPhone has a newish app out called "War Pinball HD". Based on popular films like Platoon, Navy Seals and Missing In Action, there's no denying that war film buffs will enjoy playing this game. And I get that; I really enjoy a good action flick. Given the choice, I'd take a war or spy movie over a 'chick flick' any day of the week.

But I wouldn't let my four-year old play a game based on it. Yet this is exactly what Apple is wanting you to do. The app, priced at an allowance-friendly $2.99, is rated for kids 4 and up. As in, not old enough to use a knife, still wears a Pull-Up, still sleeps with a blankie, four years old.

Uh..say what?

The game has a sound chip equipped with the same language used in the movies (not ideal for kids), as well as the artillery sound effects. Not one to be controversial, Apple feigned corporate responsibility by working with the game's inventor, Gameprom, and changed the default setting to 'mute', requiring a password to turn the sound back on. Brilliant.

Click here to submit your feedback to Apple. Send this post to everyone you know. My endeavor is to not stifle commerce, but to enforce basic decency standards. Parents buy these games based on the ratings; companies funded primarily by consumerism should refrain from obfuscating the fact that children are an at-risk demographic and their best interests must be taken into consideration. The advertising should accurately reflect the content.