Monday, September 26, 2011

MPAA OKs PG-13 Ads in Kids' Media

The world of advertising reminds me of a roach: It preys and feeds on the unassuming, its snarky practices multiply at lightening speed, and you know where there's one, there are at least 100 more waiting. Today, let talk about the slimy vermin also known as The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). 

A recent finding by the CARU (Children's Advertising Review Unit) demonstrates the darkened crevasse in which the MPAA breeds. Forget the constant onslaught of PG-13 marketing in the preschool aisle at Toys R Us (Spiderman, Batman, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc); now PG-13 movies are being marketing to kids on television during specific viewing times tailored for youngsters and their families. During the kid game show "Hole in the Wall" on Cartoon Network, trailers for "Transformers: Dark of the Moon", "Green Latern" and "Captain America" were all shown. 
("Transformers: Dark of the Moon")

But upon being contacted by CARU, the brass suits at Paramount and Warner Brothers were arrogantly unapologetic. In a statement to CARU, they said they’d "placed the ads in those media intentionally", as "no specific guidelines of the MPAA were violated" 

Hmmm. The MPAA describes a PG-13 rating as such: "Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13." It goes on to then say: "...(A) PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should view the motion picture, as some material might not be suited for them...any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating.." 

So let me get this straight: The MPAA "strongly cautions" parents to not expose their kids to a PG-13 movie, but they market the same PG-13 movies kids under 13.

Are they...morons? Do they think we won't pick up on that? 

Contact the MPAA and let them know you object to their marketing methods. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Toddlers, Tiaras, and Hookers

TLC's hit show, Toddlers and Tiaras, has long engaged my gag reflex. Something about pageants in general creeps me out, but pageants featuring girls barely out of diapers? Ick. The mothers are basically insane, and the pageant judges should seriously consider adopting a new profession. I mean, they judge little girls in evening gowns. It's just wrong, people.

But not one to be outdone by current industry standards of pre-pubescent sexualization, TLC ("The Learning Channel", if you can believe that) has upped the ante on exploitation. Its latest episode showcases a darling little three-year-old dressed as none other than Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman:

I've said this before and I'll say it again: Am I missing something here? Did the girl's mother have a brain relapse? What the hell was she thinking? She defended the outfit, saying she was "stunned" by the media's outrage and that her child was completely unharmed by it.

Of course she was. Because all of us nay-sayers are the crazy ones, right? Everyone knows adorning our babies in skanky hooker attire is perfectly acceptable.

When I was little, I had a Daisy Duke Halloween costume. When my grandmother saw it (and the shorts were to my kneecaps, BTW), she made me wear a sweatshirt over it, hissing at my mother in disgust. But Daisy Duke is a long cry from a prostitute, and I certainly wasn't parading around on national television wearing twelve pounds of makeup and thigh-high "come hither" boots.

My peeps over at the PTC have slammed TLC, and rightly so. In an age where pedophiles rule the streets and girls are forced to grow up faster than the speed of light, TLC should get a new agenda. If you're a cable subscriber and TLC is part of your package, contact them. Tell them to clean it up or they're going to lose a customer. (Link below)

This show is yet another fine example of why Americans are begging for Cable Choice.

Contact TLC here.